with her you never win and always lose; with me, you never win but never lose

The moment I put down the phone is the moment that signifies I have given up. Not just on you, but on everything; it signifies the end. But it seems like I have been forgetting it lately and it's been easier to put down. But today I havent left it once; i refuse to give up just yet.

everytime i look at the licsen plates aroound, it seems less and less are familliar and more and more reminde me of you. your state, the one tht you call home. everyday more of them are around or maybe they are just getting easier to pick out of the crowd. the light blue and red vs. the navy and white, who wil win? you decide. or maybe for now we will have to add another group of colors to the game since i bet you rarley see these now, being where you are, or maybe you do, i dunno.

finding it hard to erite when im down here, and finding it easer to think of what i wanna say whne im lying in bed starring at the stars, the glowin the dark ones from second grade. how come people take pictures and make a big deal out of sunset and sunrise? what about when the moon sets and rises, sometimes pople tend to forget and make less or a deal out of it. rise sun and kill thy envious moon! favoritism? yes, the sun plays a big roll, but the moon does too. without it we would have no light at night or the currentss that we do, and if it was sunny all day the earth would be too hot and we would not be used to sleeping schedules. eventhough we sleep allday and stay up all night.

the airconditioner is turned up high and im shaking cold. its not like when i was cold and you would hold me to get me warm. when i sleep at night my body may be able to get warm but for some reason my hands an feet are alway cold and sometimes numb. i guess i never noticed it before because the extra body heat kept them warm. i think they miss you, i know i do. im waiting on that mind fuck, you talk about it, but i dont think you have ever actually done it, but you wanted to get the message out. but you can test the theory on me, unless you want it proven right? because im not like them hos, haha, you know i love to say that, and you do too, dont try to denie it!

i love you so much that if i loved you any more i would be considered insane. or maybe im insane right now for even loving you as much as i already do. im not sure, you pick, you were never/ always good at that.

soon we will do this again..

we walk down the dark hall way and i get scared and grabb your hand

not even the person standing next to be, but you, eventhough you are behined me

you pull me close and laugh as you hold me against your chest

the same chest i was pounding on last week when you said you had to leave again

but as much as i know you will comeback, i want to go with you

everytime you leave i wish i was her, because she gets to go on the 3 day visits

it might make it harder but at least she gets to hear voice, which i would die for

but if i went i would never be able to leave, so i guess this is best, unles you never leave

but that would be asking to much of you.them.the world. god.

lifes just an hourglass glued to the table, and no one can find the rewinde button boy so cradle your head in you hands, and breath, just breath

whenyousettledowninbedandturnoverandthereisaemptyspace

remeberwhoshouldbethere

take care kid, luv ya lots

(p.s. for laughs! fuckinginabathroomstallandkissingintherain , b/c thats how we roll )