is that the stars twinkling or is that just the moon light reflecting off my tears..

i need a miricale for you to please let me be your girl, just give me the chance and you will see that i am made for you


I've been leaving you secret messages in the clouds.skies.moon.stars. i didnt see a star out tonight, till we put the top down and and felt the wind in my hair and looked straight up. there it was, the brightest out of too stars, polaris. i looked deep in to the moon and left you a message, the forth one. it seems that two of the messages were left as i went down that familiar lonley street, the one that remineds me we are not together. the one that tells me, if we aint in the same bed, we could be in a different state and feel closer. when your here and im there you feel so alone. wait, thats the other way around. you shatter at the sight of a tear, yet stand tall at the sigt of a stream. one can move to you, but a set will not make you budge. the first time was the last time. you didnt mean to.you pushed me in to the wall. i grabbed you and pushed you into the same wall and smacked you. you got more mad, but with that trade mark of yours that i did back to you, you calmed. then u realized what you did and could not stop apologizing, but from then on you knew i dont take shit from any one, not even you. its funny how much i miss you. how much you have never been with me. how much i look at the number in the phone book and the picture and name above, but will never call it. im afraid to hear her voice. i wish i would hear yours. but i have to go through here to get you and she wont let me get to you.maybe i should try the other number. but i know i wont. unless one day you tell her to accept one call and that just so happens to be me. but life aint perfect untill we all die, then it just gets a little easier, or so it is said. but how do they know if the havent died yet? reincarnation doesnt leave you with memories so dont pull that b.s. with me. i long for your bed. your arms. you lips. your eyes. your legs wraped up with mine. that smile and luagh. your room. your kitchen. your basement, yet we dont do what you did with them down their. maybe because im something special, of just becuase im not. i read the last entry and felt home sick, yet i was lying in my own bed. makes me think maybe this aint the right home for me. it made me a little sad, but not as much when you realize you already knew it. or maybe more so, ill let you pick. maybe its because i might be homesick for your home, which is not my home, but maybe i want it to be. but i rly dont. subconciouses can be a bitch, but what would we do with out them, life would be a bore. i hope that made sense.

i kissed the phone and went to sleep, praying you would call. another night wasted because you didnt. i added it to my collection and tallied it up, so far it has been two months of endless praying and hopeing. im hopless. but hopefull. you love it. but i hate it.

kiss my hand, ill signal you off
hug me from behined ill gladly hug you back
kiss my forehead, ill kiss your lips
hug me from the front and ill shake you off
call me weird but this is logic
when you realize it, you will get it
you might hear it, but i know your not listening
hear the birds, listen to the crickets
this is you, and this is me
get it now?
i knew you wouldnt?

good night crickets, becouse the one with the lowest cherp is now you

loveyousomuchthatyouwillneverbeabletocomprehendit
takethistoyourgraveandillkeepitinminebutourbedsourourgravesifyoucatchmydrift