baby, its times like this when we know who really loves us, just wait to see whos stl standing when the smoke clears

snce december i knew, but i was able to denie it untill last a week or two ago. its escalated over time, thats why i cant even be in the same room as him, because i told him tonight. i couldnt take it nomore, it was about to erupt, so i told someone i hate, and i knew she would probualy tell him so i had to tell him first. i knew he probably knew, he knows me way to well, i coalled him one night and he was able to tell be my state of mind, where i was sitting, why i was sitting, and the position of the bottle. not even god is that good. he knows how i feel about people even before i know, or will admitt it. i told him he knew what iwas gonna say, he asured me he didnt, then he said it was about who i liked and whe i asked who he thought it was he said "well III am pretty shure i know who it is." i couldnt help but laugh, maybe from amazment, embaresment, or maybe just because he awoke me from the deepest of sleep. i said i wont be seeing you for a while then and he said why, it doesnt bother him, i told himhe didnt understand. i wanted to tell him its because its hard when you not "like", but actually fall for your best friend, who is oneof your friends bf. and its hard not to keep falling when he doesnt exactly help. you dont let me rest my head on your lap and you certainly donot play around with me, if you cant see the rabbit holes in my eyes u just want me to add tto your collection of silly girls.im so glad this wont mean a thing come tomarrow b/c im not gonna remember a thing, so i know if he calls me im gonna hangout with him, not knowing that i told hm and not knowing that he'd have a idea why i'd tell him no. only god could fix me, but liquor is quicker, except on the acasion that it depresses me, makes me tiered and makes me yell at him of call him 74 times at 3 am till he picks up his cell. now i know why getting blown off ment so much. i miss you man, i'd rather be talking to you, worried about howthat days impression on you was going, than wondering if i was gonna losse a friend, of maybe two. cant spell friend without the "end", best friends till the end, or best friends always end, this year it seems like they allways end. come back and give me meaning once again, tangable boys are just creating trouble since i cant have them either. 50,000 mile service light keeps flashing, i want to go in s badly, but they wont let me, i think its time for e trade in, this path has been hell on this old engine, and god knows one week till the warenty is up. save me like you did before. ehy'd u get rid of the name. its not eorth trying to save ssou;s that dont need saving, but this one needs it most. till the day you answer my prayers once more, i'll be trying to solve my hearts deilemas. its rarley like with me, i ussually fall, and falll hard when the pull the balnket out from/off of me.

summernightsarecomingsoonhowboutareunionofftheinsomiacs

hugs,kisses,andmore deep felt huggs
love you, dount know what to say bout him, this was just the confessions of a teenage dramma queen at heart