To The Editor (of my life)

Having fun? I'm god's pawn and im waiting to be struck by the queen in this horrid game of wizards chest, because I know my chapped salted lips will never utter the words check mate as the tears fall down them. I miss him. Why did you take him away, I was fine with the four states between us, now you decide to throw in the 10 every now and again (but it still stays mostly 10) cross country trips at mid night never feel good. I miss the way his name rolled off the tip of my tongue, he was my involuntary reflex, my bad habit, my guilty pleasure, my dark secret that was world spread. Now you have me falling for bestfriends between sips of mikes hard berry and vodka mixed with energy drinks. They say you can die from mixing the two, but im still here, wishful thinking on their parts, or maybe mine. "he has a girlfriend" if I was a center metter closer to you everytime i heard that about a guy i fell for, we would be face to face. "oh my god, that piece of shit Pete wentz is on the cover of every teen magazine down this isle, and he is'nt even that hot, and what about the rest of the band?" pause, shake your head, motion to blow your head off, take a deep breath and say " do you even know their names?" clear your throat as they say "well... uhm, no but.." go to scream " but what, you dont. (age order) Andy,Patrick, and Joe. its their band let them worry, just enjoy the music, thats all that counts, now can we gat the smirnoff and please leave!". i hate these cobversations, especially when we were talking about something serious.why do you do this. i know your a male because you make me cry. you make them say " you piece of shit you spent over two thousand dollars in under a month on shit! no more money till janurary!" and you make them say " your a bitch!" and " you just want to drink, you dont need to to have a good time!" and "i got to go, ill call you back" and my favorite " bitch, go fuck yoursefl you slut". spend 3 hours crying on the floor of my room, which i havent done in a long time. its funny how the only voice that made me feel better was my friends, a guy, someone i only met a few months ago, not even childhood friends, of friends i had for a few years. you have a weird way of working, you really do. go to google search "sincereluv6579" nothing much will come up. go to the search engine here and type in the search blogs bar above and type the same, a deleted post with two familliar names may come up. your cruel joke to me, i will never forget it.

he looks up from his papper "hey"
she looks in to his eyes then quickly to here own shoes"hey"
he notes that very quickly " you have pretty sexy eyes" he jokes
she feels tingles up here spine " so you know who i am then, which means theres no blank sheet for me" she goes to turn away
im amazement from being so confused heturns to look at his friend then quickly back to her "wait, what? what are you talking a... oh, no, you cant be, wait, are you?"
in realizing he knew nothing and she gave uop her chance she says "yea, sorry, i just blew it, but yea im here, sorry for every thing that may have pissed you off, and sorry for say who i am"
bamboozled he goes and says "what, no im glad, nothing is how it seems i know that, i just wanted to find the real girl, and i did"
he man in black says to him "lets go, were runniong low on time hurry this up"
she looks back down and starts "sorry, my bad, bye guys, im going now, once again sorry"
he quickly says" no, wait, comeback here and just wait till we're finished, then well talk untill you have to leave"
she says " i never have to leave, ill leave when you say its time to" in shock and amazement
in between gigles he says " ok, fine, togheter forever aka, till 6 am when we leave, haha"
mumbling to herself "when the dream ends"
shoked at her words "i heard that"
embaressed " im sorry"
embaressed for making her feel that "no, its ok, but did you really think this would be it, come on, what type of guy do you think i am? my email, screen name, phone number, cell, and even address, well atleast all the new ones that you dont have, so we can always stay in touch, because i know you wont use all the info in a bad way. simply because i trust no one, not even myself, but there's something about you that says i can."
slightly fatigued " of course"
you finish it
does it continue? does the alarm clock ring? does she sit next to him? is this real, did it happen? or is this a repetetive dream? you have the power, no please make it how i want.



as i wait for him, your making me fall for a "in the meanwhile" guy, who i really do love, but hes a friend, and has a girlfriend, who im friends with. please end the nightmare and start the dream, i cant hang up another dream catcher, there is just simply no more room.
Thank you mr. eitor, thank you for your time
sincerely,
a simple life at stake